Life On Churchill

Thoughts from a mom who is going through it too ❤

Welcome! And welcome to the little years. I realized as I started to write this post that I might be getting myself into some “dangerous” territory. What I mean is I don’t think someone can write about something as an expert without having their own experiences tried and tested in the process. And this post is no exception! I just gave my 9 month old a fruit pouch to snack on while I started to write, and within 5 seconds it was upside down and she had squeezed most of it on her clean outfit, the high chair, and the floor. Deep breath, and we try again.

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So again, welcome to my blog. Welcome to this life season with its joys and challenges. I’m right here with you and I hope I can encourage you as we go through this together.

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How to enjoy the little years: Thoughts from a mom who is going through it too ❤

First, a bit about my “qualifications” for writing a post. My oldest will be 2 in a month, and my second is 9 months (exactly thirteen and a half months apart!) I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when I was just 4 months postpartum with my son. I spent most of her pregnancy just processing how I would be able to manage two babies so close together (my son was just over a year when she was born!).

My first post partum experience was very challenging, with a hospital stay right after the birth for some complications, then taking home a very colicky baby whose emotions continue to be a challenge to this day. Also I am married to a busy farmer who worked late often for the first 6 months of our son’s life. Our daughter was born shortly after our son’s birthday the following year, so we headed straight into another similar hectic season on the farm shortly after she was born.

All that to say, I understand. I get the long days and sleepless nights. I remember the first postpartum experience of feeling completely unprepared for the intense changes that a new baby brings. I understand the feelings of losing yourself in motherhood, physically and emotionally, and I’ve felt the stress a baby can put on your marriage. I know the feeling of being faced with those first toddler tantrums and not knowing how to navigate this little person with their own unique personality who doesn’t have enough words yet to communicate what they want. I know how it feels to worry about milestones, when your baby isn’t walking or talking at the same time as your friend’s babies around you. The memories of the first outing, grocery store trip, pregnancy while breastfeeding, and all the other things are fresh in my mind!

So, with that, I hope I can encourage you by giving you the basic daily habits and mindset shifts that have consistently balanced my perspective. Notice how I titled this post “How to ENJOY the little years” rather then “How to SURVIVE the little years”. I feel like it’s taken me almost 2 years to get here, but I now truly believe there is so much joy to be had in this season despite the challenges. It is possible, and I don’t want to look back and regret wishing these years away. I hope you’ll join me in embracing this mindset shift. Let’s soak up these fleeting moments together!

1. Get dressed & brush your teeth every day

This maybe seems basic, but I think we can all relate. There are days that just don’t start well. Maybe we don’t sleep well, and we’re not even sure when the day began because our baby was up all night. Then we head straight into diaper changes, messy breakfasts, handling meltdowns, and before we know it it’s 11am, we’re still in our PJs, and our neighbor is knocking on the door to let us know our dog got away, again (yes, true story!).

But if we can find the time to make a coffee (and I know I always can no matter how bad the day is going!), then we can find the time to get dressed and brush our teeth. This may look different for everyone, maybe you have to use a bit of screen time or an extra snack to just get put together for the day. No guilt! It is good to take basic care of yourself so that you can be a better mom to your kids.

Something does shift in your brain when you do these basic things to get ready for the day. They signal to your brain, “Hey! Time to get up!”. Even if you haven’t slept well, these habits help your brain to transition into daytime mode to face the tasks ahead, even if you’re tired.

Now I know this concept isn’t always presented well and can make moms feel more guilty for not always feeling like their most put together self every day. That is not what I am trying to convey. I just want to give you basic tips that will serve you as a mom, improving your mood and mindset. If you want to do a bit extra and put on some makeup then go for it, but this is about what is going to make YOU feel your best as you face each new day.

2. Get up before your kids, even if it’s just a few minutes

I want to be SO cautious here because I will be the first to admit that there are days and different seasons where this may not be realistic, especially in the newborn stage.

That being said, I cannot get around the fact that getting up a bit before my kids drastically changes the outlook for my day. Even if I’ve been up in the night. The extra little bit of sleep is not worth it for me. I find my mindset is immediately off when I’m woken up by my child needing something, and then proceed to head straight into the day without having a few minutes to myself.

Now again, this is going to look different for everyone, especially depending on if you have some routine or not. Maybe your baby wakes up a bit before your toddler and you’re able to nurse them back to sleep. Fight the urge to go back to bed and use those few minutes to enjoy some quiet time alone. If your kids have predictable wake up times then maybe set your alarm even just 10-15 minutes before and maybe just read a book in bed to give yourself that time to wake up before your kids do.

Of course if you’re super keen and want to wake up at 5am to workout then go for it! But I think sometimes the guilt of not being able to meet unrealistic expectations keeps us from the benefits of setting and keeping realistic ones. I actually have a whole blog post on realistic morning routine tips for busy moms, be sure to check it out!

3. Ask for & accept offers to help

I think especially first time moms struggle with this one. We think “well, it’s my first baby, and I only have one, therefore I should be able to do this all by myself.” Or maybe we think “well my baby isn’t nearly as fussy as my friend’s and she doesn’t seem to need any help, so I shouldn’t either.”

Let me tell you from first hand experience, asking for help does not make you less of a good mom then anyone else. There are SO many factors at play, whether it’s the number or kids you have, past experiences/comfort level with kids, how much sleep you’re getting, your postpartum experience, your baby’s temperament, your husband’s support, etc.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

-Ed Mylett

Also, people genuinely want to help! I felt so guilty all the time for accepting help, but people love babies and kids! Remember, they haven’t been up with your baby all night and they’re not going to be up with them all night tonight. They don’t feel the same weight and exhaustion as you do. So it’s ok to accept when someone offers to help. They are probably going to appreciate it just as much as you are.

4. Plug in to community

Related to asking for help is to plug in to your local community. Thankfully I have the support of both mine and my husband’s family, plus a large church community and friend group.

Where we live we also have support centers for families called early ON centers, where you can drop in anytime to meet other parents and to chat with the staff. The staff are trained in child development and can answer your questions. They’ll even hold your baby for a bit if you just need a break. Some of these centers even have transportation if you don’t have a way to get to them. Check out the options in your community and take advantage of what they have to offer!

I know sometimes it’s hard to just get out of the house but I promise it is worth it. The change of scenery alone can be such a game changer for yours and your kids’ mood.

Other options for community supports in your area may include reaching out to local churches, libraries, mommy groups, pregnancy centers, etc. Don’t be shy. That’s why they’re there!

5. Talk to people a stage ahead of ahead you

If you know moms whose kids are a bit older then yours, I highly encourage you to develop a friendship with them. Older moms, your own mom, and grandparents are also great resources, but there is something about chatting with someone who vividly remembers the stage you’re in but is on the other side.

Often times they can give you solid practical advice for things like diaper brands, sleep training, etc. But they can also validate your feelings and remind you to be present when you can. They might share with you the struggles of the next stage and point out something that they really miss about the stage your kids are in now to help you refocus your perspective.

Related to this, I have found it to be so helpful to be aware of what other people are going through and keep up with world events (without being over burdened by all the terrible things going on in the world). Knowing that someone’s child is sick in the hospital or remembering that children are separated from their parents in war torn countries can put me in my place when I’ve slipped into resentment of my situation.

6. It’s ok to take a minute

I think they tell you this often in the newborn stage, but sometimes it gets forgotten as time goes on. Truly sometimes the best thing for you and for your kids is to walk away for a minute (as long as you know they’re safe. It’s okay if they cry in their crib for a little bit).

It’s amazing how removing yourself from the situation, taking a breath, saying a prayer, having a good cry, etc. can really shift the frustration away from your kids and get your perspective back into focus.

Side note, when you do come back to the situation, sometimes turning on music can totally shift your mood (and your kids’ for that matter!). I did this just today. It’s amazing to see my kids’ faces just light up when they hear a song they know.

7. Find something you enjoy: a creative outlet

Okay this one is really hard sometimes. I honestly did not do this the first time postpartum. I felt like I was just trying to survive emotionally. But I learned from that. As time went on and I started to feel more like myself, I have been able to slowly add things into my lifestyle that fuel and refresh me in motherhood.

I do think I would have done better in the early days if I could have found something that was separate from being a mom. But just to be realistic with you, when my son was a baby, if I tried to work out, he cried. If I took him outside in the stroller and tried to garden, he cried. Looking back now, I maybe could have gone on more walks to places I really enjoyed. Just being out in nature would maybe have been enough to fill my cup a bit more. It really isn’t the end of the world if they cry on the walk or in the car on the way home, even though it feels like it is.

Now not everyone has someone who can watch their baby consistently, and maybe you can’t even depend on your spouse to be home every evening to give you a break. Because of the busy seasons on the farm I have had to learn what things I can do either with my kids or during their naptime. I have had to be really intentional with that time. I also find that it’s not always that I don’t have time, it’s that I don’t have long uninterrupted periods of time. So, realizing those limitations, I’ve chosen things like blogging, gardening, etc. These are things I can work on a bit at a time as I get opportunity throughout the day, so I can save longer activities to enjoy doing uninterrupted (hopefully!) during the times when my kids are sleeping.

8. Take pictures

Someone once told me to take pictures of the hard times and the good times so you remember both from each season. I don’t do this. I think it’s most important to take pictures of the things your kids do that make you smile. All of a sudden they won’t babble the way they used to, they’ll stop saying that adorable word wrong when they learn how to say it right, they’ll stop army crawling and learn to crawl then walk. The things that are so ordinary, the things they do all the time today, will soon be memories and you will feel a little sad to see them go (Sometimes. And other times it does feel ok to just enjoy looking back at the memories as you watch them grow too).

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Thank you for reading this far!

If you’ve made it this far I hope my thoughts resonated with you. I know first hand that this season is really challenging at times, but it also holds these jewel moments of sweet innocence. I realize this when I’m teaching my son the words for all the things he’s learning for the first time. When I see the wonder in his eyes I remember how big and beautiful this world is. I think about how my babies won’t want to hug and snuggle me forever, and how I’ll miss their little voices asking me to read to them. I’ll miss their little hands in mine as they run through puddles and point to every dog we see as we walk along.

Thank you for joining me in seizing the opportunity to daily choose joy, gratitude, and contentment in each season. If you’re visiting from Pinterest I hope you’ll save this post and follow me. Be sure to check out my blog and subscribe to my email list to follow along as I learn and share more realistic tips on my journey to a simpler, from-scratch lifestyle that actually makes sense for busy moms, saving you time and money along the way!

I’d love to hear from you what you thought of this post, and if you have any more tips you’d share about your experience in this season of the little years. I’m learning too!

This post contains affiliate links, which means I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. See my full disclosure here:  Disclosure & Policy

Photos courtesy of canva.com:

Beige Simple How to Order Your Story. Image source: Kanyaah Studio on canva.com, 27 April, 2024. Accessed via: https://www.canva.com/p/templates/EAFcfeaVLTY-beige-simple-how-to-order-your-story/

White Orange Simple Grid Easter Craft Ideas Blog Post Pinterest Pin. Image source: Stephanie Godbout Design on canva.com, 15 April 2024. Accessed via https://www.canva.com/p/templates/EAFbgCnqpKQ-white-orange-simple-grid-easter-craft-ideas-blog-post-pinterest-pin/

Gray and Brown Aesthetic Baby Photo Collage. Image source: LiteraSign on canva.com, 15 April, 2024. Accessed via https://www.canva.com/p/templates/EAFF7IGFiMQ-gray-and-brown-aesthetic-baby-photo-collage/